This Pain
by RheesMag
Summary: Tag to "A." Behind the public face Gareth puts out for the public, lies a great pain at the death of the one person who was closest to him besides their own mother.


_Don't move. Don't react. Don't cry. No matter what, you do not cry over this. Especially not in front of_ _ **them**_ _._

Gareth ran through the internal dialogue in his mind until he was almost blue in the face. No matter how many times he went over what he was supposed to do in his mind, he could not follow through with that plan once his own feelings got in the way.

Even though Gareth prided himself on being able to keep a safe distance from the sticky subject of affection or feelings, there was part of him that could not contain his devastation over what transpired in the courtyard only moments before. No man, no matter how tough he portrayed himself, would be immune to this pain.

This pain that was hitting him square in the heart like a wrecking ball. Striding through the impressive compound after Tim and Rich rounded Rick and his gang of merry followers into the traincar, his chest tightened in a way that it had not since his father was killed right after the turn. Stopping by a side door that led into the break room, he leaned against it and tried to get control of himself.

' _Shut up, Alex.' He was never any good in confrontations. In fact, he nearly peed himself when he handed in his resignation. Of course, the idiot deserved it, especially when he threw his coffee carafe at Alex._

 _Oh, Alex...damn you for being too friendly with the new people and getting caught up in this kind of thing._

Gareth did not realize he was crying until he felt moisture on his cheeks, and the pressure of someone hugging him. Tensing when he realized someone at Terminus was seeing him break down over what happened, he relaxed when he noticed it was his mother. She didn't say a word; she didn't need to when their pain was exactly the same.

They pretended not to be related for the sake of protection when they showed new people around the compound, but that was only for their public face. The love and devotion they had for one another after the hell they went through, was even stronger than it was before. His mother was "Mom" to him. Alex was his "annoying as sin little brother."

"I could have-I could have done something," Mary whispered, taking a step back from him.

"What?" Gareth snapped, sending her back a few inches. "What could you have done?"

Mary shook her head, perhaps knowing the truth of his words. There was nothing that could have been done to prevent what took place when Rick took Alex hostage. The protocol that dictated what happened next, was a tried and proved method that never failed until it did.

' _Rick what do you want?' As if what he wanted mattered anymore._

' _Where are our people?'_

' _You didn't answer the question.'_

"You're right," Mary said, breaking him from his thoughts. Turning toward the killing floor, Gareth walked as though in a daze.

"Jackson-" Gareth began.

In a flash, Mary rounded on him, her soft eyes ablaze with a fire he had not seen since the night they reclaimed Terminus.

"Jackson's always been a piss poor shooter. Even worse as a sniper. Why the-"

"I know," Gareth admitted with a sigh. "We were showing Rick around, and everyone was already doing something for us."

Hindsight was proving to be the biggest hurdle for Gareth to battle. Jackson was good for strength and determination, but he lacked the basic common sense to aim a gun. The snipers on the roof _should_ have taken Rick out before he could do anything.

Walking across the lot to the killing floor, he hesitated before pulling open the heavy steel door. The putrid smell of decomposition met his nostrils. Ignoring it for as long as he could, he and his mother made it across the room to where Alex was ready to be prepped for their consumption.

"Do we punish Jackson?" Mary voiced.

Gareth nodded his head, grasping the edges of the table with both hands. An accident was an accident, but he could never let the killer of his brother get off without some kind of punishment.

"We meet on it tomorrow."

Mary nodded simply. "Okay."

Turning his attention to his brother, it was hard for Gareth to believe how quiet Alex was being. In his living years, his brother never could keep his mouth shut unless he was sleeping. Even then, he mumbled.

 _I'll miss you, dude. Don't have too much fun up there without me._


End file.
